


Here With You, Here With Me

by Mistiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bottom!Cas, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Gift Fic, Humor, Kid Fic, M/M, Mild Language, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-01
Updated: 2011-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-26 18:38:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistiel/pseuds/Mistiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas thought it was time to move on to the next level of their relationship. What the hell comes after marriage?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here With You, Here With Me

**Author's Note:**

> *Important Note* Formerly known as 'thursdaysangel'. This my new Pseud now, just so no one gets confused and thinks I'm stealing my own work. They finally opened up being able to change usernames so, that's what I did. xD
> 
> \--
> 
> Written for the darling [total_alias](http://total-alias.livejournal.com/profile)' birthday~ Her prompt was a kid!fic so I did my damnedest! I hope you all enjoy it as well, I had fun writing it! It's also my first full-blown AU fic, so please be gentle!

  


  


_  
And these are the moments, I know heaven must exist  
And these are the moments, I know all I need is this  
\----  
_

Dean woke up fifteen minutes before his alarm was set to go off, and groaned, hand reaching out blindly to turn it off before it began shrilling at him -- yes, you damn thing, he knew he was awake thank you. Honestly, some days he wanted to find the bastard who invented alarm clocks and sock him over the head with one. Nothing sucked worse than being woken from a warm and comfortable sleep by the annoying trill of an alarm.

Rolling over onto his right, Dean stilled at the empty spot on his bed, hand reaching out to feel the sheets. He let out a sigh of relief that it was still warm. Even after all these years he couldn't help the little bolt of panic that rushed through him when he woke up and his lover -- husband now -- wasn't there. He knew it was irrational, that Cas would never leave him .. but still, sometimes the worry and fear plagued him.

He laid there for a few moments and waited for his heart to calm, fingers rubbing over what was left of Cas' warmth. A tiny grin crossed his face when the warm scent of fresh coffee wafted into the room, followed by the heavenly aroma of sizzling bacon. Goddamn he loved that man. Well, time to get up he supposed.

Rolling out of bed, Dean snagged a pair of sweat pants from the floor and pulled them on, glancing at the clock as it flipped over to seven a.m. before heading out of the room, down the hall and into the kitchen where the full force of the mix of scents hit his nose.

Leaning against the frame, arms crossed over his broad chest, Dean watched Cas mill about the kitchen, wearing a navy blue apron that once read 'kiss the cook'. Dean had, years ago, applied blue fabric paint to etch out some of the second 'o' so it now read 'kiss the cock'. He had thought it was hilarious at the time but Cas had simply rolled his eyes and refused to wear it unless they were completely alone. One of the things he loved about Cas was his ability to ignore and wave off most, if not all, of his childish behaviour and juvenile sense of humor. And if Cas laughed along with him, well that was just a bonus.

Castiel was also an excellent cook, another thing that Dean loved about him. Everything he made, from boxed mac 'n' cheese to a five course meal always tasted delicious. Not to mention the man could hold his own in a baking contest if the need ever arose, and he could bake a mean apple pie. Dean's favourite.

But that wasn't what Dean had fallen in love with, though it could be called a _really_ close second. No, Dean had fallen, quite literally, for Cas' piercing, too blue eyes and deep gravelly voice.

Dean had been working for Singer Salvage, an auto shop their Dad's friend Bobby ran, when Cas came in with his car. He'd been having trouble with it before, but kept putting it off until he couldn't anymore, and had come to the shop for help. Bobby had put Dean on the case. One look into those deep, soulful blue eyes and he was hooked, tripping over himself like a goddamn teenager all over again - though reasonably he had only just turned twenty-one. No, literally. Dean had tripped over his open tool box trying to get to the two men to shake Cas' hand. It had embarrassed him like no other but it was well worth the tiny smile and the sparkle in those amazing eyes of his.

When Cas had come to pick up his car two days later Dean had built up the courage to ask the man out, and through thick and thin they'd been together ever since, having finally tied the knot a few years ago.

The moment he had laid eyes on Cas, Dean had known that was it, that there'd be no one else, not ever. He'd taken that first step and never once looked back.

A loud thunk jerked Dean from his thoughts and his gaze moved over to the table where Cas was setting down two full plates, a tiny little smirk on his face. "I was wondering when you'd be joining me." He said teasingly.

Dean grinned and pushed himself off of the door jamb and walked over to Cas, strong arms winding around the man's waist as he leaned in to plant a kiss to those perpetually chapped lips, grinning into it. "Sorry, got lost in thought I guess."

"I'll say," Castiel muttered fondly as he patted Dean's chest affectionately, fingers lightly stroking over smooth skin. "Now, sit down and eat before my hard work goes to waste."

Pulling apart, the two sat down at the table and tucked into their breakfast, which consisted of eggs, pancakes and bacon -- extra bacon for Dean and he couldn't help but love Cas a little more for it. He wrinkled his nose at the little bowl of communal fruit that sat between their plates but none the less stabbed a piece of strawberry from it and popped it into his mouth. Doing so earned him a small, pleased smile from Cas.

"So," Castiel started, glancing up at Dean through thick, dark lashes before dropping his gaze back down to his plate as he cut into his fluffy pancakes. "I was thinking that we should .. take the next step in our relationship." Castiel said slowly, feeling nervous suddenly even though he had practically planned out the whole conversation - well, his side at least.

Dean looked up, brow furrowed in confusion. "Next step? Kinda thought we'd already hit that one, Cas." Dean said with a little grin, fingers waving and the light catching on the golden band wrapped around his ring finger. "Was there another I wasn't told about? Is this the part where we spice things up a bit? Cuz I gotta tell ya, I wouldn't mind hitting up the sex shop if that's what you're .... that's not what you're talking about." Dean finished at Cas' blank but patient look, slouching as if disappointed.

Castiel's lips twitched slightly as he shook his head, unable to be unamused by Dean's suggestion. Castiel dropped his hands to the front pockets of the apron and pulled out a small leaflet, setting it down on the table and sliding it across the smooth surface to Dean.

Raising a brow, Dean picked it up and skimmed over the front cover. His eye raked over the word 'adoption' and he immediately slammed the pamphlet down face first. "No. We talked about this." He said quietly, voice hard though he didn't sound angry or upset.

"Dean, just think--"

"The answer is no."

"Dean --"

"No, Cas. You _know_ how I feel about this," said Dean as he stood up and grabbed his half empty plate, pushing the remains into the trash before setting the plate into the sink and running water over it. "I have to get ready for work, and I'm hitting up the garage afterward, so don't wait up. Gotta finish the Lexus that was brought in yesterday." And just like that the conversation was over.

Castiel sighed as he pulled the leaflet back to him and tucked it inside his apron pocket again as Dean headed up to get ready for work. By the time Dean had finished, Castiel had already cleaned up from breakfast and had set Dean's bagged lunch out on the kitchen table for him. Stalking into the kitchen Dean snatched it up but slowed his pace as he approached Castiel who stood leaning against the counter in front of the sink.

Standing before Cas, Dean was well into the others personal space as he leaned in and kissed the shorter man, his free hand coming up to cradle the back of his head. "Love you." He murmured softly against Cas' mouth, which twitched up in reply. "Love you too, Dean." Dean rest his forehead against Cas' for a moment and nodded, fingers sliding back and forth in the soft hair at the nape of Cas' neck. "See you when I get home." Dean said as he pulled away and headed out of the kitchen, grabbing up his keys from the bowl on the small table next to the door and left their small apartment.

Castiel let out a quiet sigh as he tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling. No matter whether they fought or not, or if they did it didn't matter how heated or hurtful the words got, at the end of it even if they were still mad with one another, Dean always kissed him and professed his love for him. At first Castiel hadn't understood, but the more he learned about Dean the more he began to. And now he didn't mind it at all, and sometimes it even diffused their argument completely. He could feel Dean's love for him in each and every kiss and he just couldn't stay mad at Dean when he did that.

But Castiel understood, he really did. He knew Dean had a hard time being with and around children, save for Sam's son Daniel. Daniel is possibly the only child Dean seems at ease with and it's likely due to the fact the kid is Sam's son, family. Though it had taken quite a long time for Dean to hold Daniel when he'd been a baby, as if Dean feared he would some how harm the child just by holding it. Sam had been patient and understanding, a downright Saint. But Castiel supposed that was to be expected given how close they are and how they grew up.

It had taken awhile for Dean to tell him about his past, and his family. About how his mother, Mary, died in an attempted home invasion and kidnapping, protecting her youngest son, Sam. Dean had been roughly four then. He said he didn't remember much, just the sound of Sam's crying and John shoving the bundle at him, telling him to get his little brother to safety. He hadn't heard much from his spot on the lawn not twenty feet from the house but could feel the flames as they erupted from the nursery window, and quickly engulfed the whole house. John had rushed out of the house alone.

Dean didn't learn until later that Mary had been stabbed and knocked unconscious by the man in his fit to escape the fire and falling debris had blocked the doorway, John unable to reach her in time. The police had ruled it an accident, the fire starting due to faulty wiring in the nursery, but John knew better. He had seen the man, eyes gleaming a sickly yellow in the firelight as Mary rushed Sam at him moments before the ceiling collapsed, blocking the door shut. He knew Mary fought bravely to save her son, giving her life in the process. After that, the hunt for Mary's killer and Sam's attempted kidnapper was on.

John, from what Dean had told him, had become obsessed with finding the man. Had trailed cases and leads of kidnapped children all across the globe, dragging his children along with him. Dean had practically raised Sam on his own, the two nearly dependent on each other as they had no one else. Child services never caught up with them, John always two steps ahead. The boys went to school when they could, though driving cross country made it difficult and more often than not Dean had taught Sam the things he knew, things he had learned.

When Dean was thirteen the trail went cold, nothing but dead ends. John's long time friend Bobby talked him into letting it go -- for now, to try to give his kids a real life for a change. After butting heads over the idea, John relented but never gave up his search. The man had started a local P.I. business, taking small cases. He'd been a detective in his younger years, but retired once Mary was pregnant with Dean, at her request. She wanted her family whole, together, without the worry that one day John might not come home. But there'd been nothing to stop him from getting back into it, and that's what he did. Dean loved the job and often helped John on smaller, less dangerous cases, eating up the knowledge and learning like he was starving for it. He did well in school, John made sure of it, telling Dean he couldn't help if his grades were bad. Sam was a different story. He hated the job, hated that Dean and John were at the office all the time though there were times when Sam, reluctantly, would help out too. Sometimes it was easier with kids around, their marks less guarded. The few times that Sam had been there, had helped put someone behind bars, he hated it a little less.

Castiel thought fondly of John, though the man hadn't taken to him like most people did. He had thought it might be the fact that Castiel was taking Dean away from him, the only family the man had left -- or perhaps it was finding out his eldest son preferred men over women, he couldn't say. Though to his credit John was never rude to him, and welcomed him into their home the times he had come to visit or had picked Dean up for a date even if he never let them completely out of his sight if he could help it. By the time Dean had proposed to Castiel when he was only twenty-five, John had come around and as long as Dean was happy, well, that's all that mattered.

They married a year later, and that wasn't the only happy news they'd gotten that day. At their reception Sam and his girlfriend Ruby, a young attorney from Sam's firm, had announced they were pregnant. Dean had exclaimed that it was the happiest day of his life, and Castiel was sure Dean wasn't the only one who thought that. He had seen the way John's eyes misted over when he hugged his youngest and congratulated them. Sam and Ruby got married that year, the dress and her plump rounded figure making her glow brighter than the sun. Three months after Ruby gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The next generation of Winchesters. John couldn't have been more happy.

But happy days didn't always last, Dean had told him.

John had finally caught up with Mary's killer. The man went by Azazel and had a thing for children, a known pedophile. The man kidnapped and kept children, and if the price was right he sold them to the highest bidder as well. John had followed the trails when they cropped up again and had successfully gunned the man down but not before being fatally wounded in the process. It was hard for both Winchester boys, but more so for Dean who had been closest to John.

Dean had gone to work for John after high school, and worked part time at the auto shop where Castiel had first met Dean. Dean had told him about the P.I. work on their first date, finding no reason or desire to lie to Castiel, which he was grateful for. After John had passed, years later, Dean had taken over and thrown himself into the job, telling him this is what John would have wanted. Both Castiel and Sam had tried to convince him otherwise but Castiel thought perhaps Dean needed this, a way to help bring closure to his father's death.

He'd been out on a job, one of hundreds he'd done on his own but got caught up in an unexpected robbery attempted at the restaurant he told his mark to meet him at. It had gone from bad to worse, Dean had told him. The man had been hallucinating, whether from a mental illness or drugs, he hadn't known. Dean had tried to negotiate with him, tried to find some way to calm him down, but it hadn't worked. In total six people died that day and two were wounded. Dean had been shot in the shoulder during the crossfire while trying to get the others to safety. Four children had been among those that died that day, three toddlers and one infant.

He blamed himself, for weeks, months even, telling Castiel if only he'd done something different, said something else -- hell, maybe not done anything at all. It had been hell, those past four months, but Castiel had been there for him through all of it, through the times when Dean cried himself to sleep and through the times when Dean would snap at him for no other reason than to vent his anger at himself. Castiel had been the one to pull Dean from the hell the man drowned himself in. It was after that that Dean began the ritual of kissing Castiel and telling him he loved him after every fight, every argument, as if he feared that Castiel would one day leave him. But Castiel had understood, had always been patient, and there were times when Dean had proclaimed that Castiel was much too good for him. It was also after that incident that Dean couldn't stand to be around children. He had thought Dean would have .. not so much gotten over it, but had come to terms with what had happened. It seemed he hadn't. He had tried to reason with Dean that he was good with children. He had raised Sam, who had gone to school, to college and had grown up to be a successful lawyer. And he did well with Sam's son when they visited.

But like always, Castiel would be patient. He knew how hard it was on Dean to be around children without seeing his failures, whether they had been tied to the case or not. Dean would come around eventually, he knew he would. He always did. He would just have to wait. And Castiel was fine with that.

~~~

Dean knew he was being a little unfair to Cas. He knew how much Cas wanted a family with him, how much family in general meant to Cas. He knew very little about Cas' own family, the man choosing to keep it to himself. The only thing he did know was that Cas' family was heavily religious and had kicked him out and disowned him when they learned of his preference for men. Cas had to be some sort of saint to be so well adjusted after a shocker like that, but Cas said he had just moved on, never really felt like he belonged there, that he was meant for something more.

Cas' had a variety of jobs over the years but the ones that stuck involved kids of varying ages. Now Cas worked as a teacher in an elementary school and honestly, Dean didn't know how he could stand it -- being stuck with screaming, noisy kids all damn day and then wanting to come home to one on top of it. It baffled Dean.

It wasn't that Dean was opposed to having kids, to giving Cas what he wanted. Dean just didn't trust _himself_ not to fuck up somehow, since that's what he felt like he did half the time. The last time Dean had been around a kid he had babysat a three-year old Danny, Sam's boy and the kid damn near choked on a piece of candy when Dean left the room to answer Sam's house phone. Dean had been frantic and hysterical when he called Sam, even after the kid had hocked it up and Sam had gotten there in time to calm Dean down. Sam had promised Dean that he'd done nothing wrong, that kids do shit like that all the time, and 'hey you remember that time you swallowed a quarter and Dad nearly broke every law getting you to the hospital?' Sam had said, grinning at the story. It hadn't helped all that much but it made Dean feel less like some sort of baby-killer.

After that Dean had stayed away for nearly three months until Sam and Cas had managed to coax him into coming to the barbecue Sam was having to celebrate his promotion in the law firm. Sometimes Dean wondered how he'd gotten saddled with saints for a brother and a husband. He didn't think he deserved it.

It was dark when Dean returned home, parking his 67' Chevy Impala in its usual spot in the complex parking lot and heading up to their apartment. It was small and cozy, filled with graded papers and files and a few spare car parts. It never felt like home unless Cas was there with him.

The lights were out when Dean got in, locking the door behind him. He'd cleaned up at the shop after his shift since he knew he'd be late and didn't want to wake Cas with a shower, if he was already in bed. Dean shucked off his shoes and socks, followed by his jeans and t-shirt before heading into their bedroom and dropping the clothes into the hamper in the hall on the way.

Beneath the covers was warm and comfortable from Cas' body heat as he slid into bed, moving to curl up against Cas' bare back, arm loosely draping over the man's side. Dean stilled as Cas shifted and turned over, blue eyes impossibly bright even with how dark the room was, trained on his face, searching.

Whatever he was looking for he seemed to find it, and relaxed as he snuggled against Dean's chest, hands curled in front of him, fingers pressing into warm skin.

"Did I wake you?" Dean asked, but Castiel just shook his head. "No, I was awake already."

"Waiting for me?" Though he knew he didn't have to ask.

"Yes."

"Cas, look, I --"

"Shh, Dean. It's alright." Castiel said quietly, bringing up his hand to press his fingers to Dean's lips to shush him. "It's okay. I'll wait as long as it takes."

"Can't wait forever, Cas." Dean muttered, frowning as he let out a quiet sigh. "You deserve better than this, someone who can give you what you want."

"For you, I'll wait for all of time if I have to." Castiel smoothed his fingers across Dean's warm lips to gently cradle his stubbled cheek. "I deserve you, Dean. You already give me everything I want and need. There's no where else I'd rather be."

"Jesus," Dean whispered thickly, voice wet with emotion. "How'd I ever get this lucky. You're a goddamn angel, Cas." When Dean leaned in Cas met him half way, mouth opening willingly beneath him. Dean licked his way past Cas' warm lips, dipping in and sliding his tongue along Cas' own, dragging from the shorter man small mewls of pleasure.

Rolling Cas onto his back, against the mattress, Dean moved above him and Cas' legs parted wide to accommodate, letting Dean sink between them. Sliding his hands between them, Cas shoved down his boxers, and then Dean's own as he arched upward. Dean groaned into Cas' sweet mouth as he pulled back and trailed nipping kisses across Cas' jaw. "God, Cas .."

Castiel just chuckled, rocking slowly upward, the hard line of their cocks pressing snug together between their bellies, the friction both maddening and pleasing. "Dean .. Dean, please .." Castiel panted brokenly. "I want it, Dean."

Never, never could Dean refuse Cas, especially like this. "Yeah, okay." He murmured and before he could move, Castiel had already shoved a tube of lube into his hand, a small shy grin on his face. Secretly, Dean loved it when Cas was forward like this, when he said and took what he wanted, like now.

It had been awhile, a few weeks at least, since the last time they'd had sex. Between both his jobs and Cas', they were always too worn out for anything more than kissing and simple groping. And though he had work in the morning, tonight he'd make the time.

Popping the cap, Dean squeezed out a generous amount of lubricant onto his fingers, rubbing them together to warm them up before lowering his hand to Cas' hole, spreading the substance before pushing two fingers in. Castiel sucked in a breath and bit back a low groan as his body shuddered. "Dean, you don't have to .."

"I know, but it's been awhile .. 'sides, I want to." If there was one thing he loved it was preparing Cas like this. Making him crazy with want and so far gone for his dick it had the man begging for it.

Dean worked his fingers in and out of Cas' clenching heat, spreading the lube and his fingers, scissoring and thrusting, opening Cas up for him. He watched with dark eyes as Cas pressed down, back arching with the onslaught of pleasure, hips rocking and taking him in further. "Dean," Cas moaned, lips parted as he breathed in shallowly. "Please, Dean. Now."

"So bossy." Dean chuckled as he pulled his slick fingers out and spread more lube on his hand, slicking himself up before shifting forward and lifting Cas' spread thighs, the man shifting down to meet him, eager and willing. The slide in was tight and snug, and Dean groaned softly as the heat engulfed him.

Castiel let out a hitched breath and the slow burn of penetration made his eyes flutter shut, enjoying the slight pain mixing with the pleasure of having Dean inside of him, so deep it felt as if he could reach heaven just like this. Sparks of pleasure and need lit up inside of him when Dean began to move, pulling out and sliding back home, again and again.

"God, Cas .." Dean moaned, hands sliding up from Cas' thighs to grip his hips as he settled into a steady, rocking pace, Cas' legs coming up to wrap around his waist, pulling him impossibly deeper. "You're so fuckin' good, every time .. always so tight for me."

"Dean .. _Dean_." Castiel panted, hands roaming every inch of skin they could reach, nails raking down Dean's chest, plucking over pebbled nipples and making the man's breath catch and his hips stutter. His slender, smooth hands moved down Dean's stomach and sides, sliding around to press against the hard, flat plains of Dean's back. "H-Harder, Dean .. do it harder." Castiel moaned, hips jerking downward as his hands lowered to grasp Dean's firm ass to pull him hard against him to punctuate his request.

"Fuck, yeah baby, anything you want." Dean murmured as he leaned over the length of Cas' perfect body (because everything about Cas was fucking perfect) and proceeded to pound the man into the mattress. His hands moved up to grip the sheets beneath them, on either side of Cas' head, bracketing the man in as he dipped down and captured Cas' lips in a hard, biting kiss.

Castiel pulled his hands up to wrap his arms around Dean's neck, holding tight as he was pressed hard into the mattress with the force of the man's thrusts, enjoying the rough, hard pace. "Aah, Dean! Y-Yes, just .. just like that .. please .. f-faster .. Dean .. Dean!" The words spilled like water out of the his mouth.

Dean loved it when Cas got like this, babbling near incoherent, the words loose on his lips in a way they weren't outside of their bed. It drove him crazy, knowing he could pull Cas apart like this. "Whatever you need, Cas .. anything .. I'll .. give it to you, anything."

"Nngh, yes Dean .. give it to me." Dean shuddered at the words, breathless as they were and sped up at his lover's request, the pace building him up quicker than he'd like, but considering how long it'd been already he wasn't surprised. Dean shifted his weight to one arm and slid his other down between them, calloused fingers gripping Cas' leaking dick, thumb swiping and smearing the precome over the cockhead as he began jerking, his strokes rough and fast, matching their pace.

Castiel keened beneath him, hips jerkily rocking upward into the slick curl of his fingers, fucking his hand in tandem. "Dean .. _Dean_! Please .. I can't .. Dean .."

"Yeah, that's it .. c'mon baby," Dean muttered, peppering Cas' mouth with little nips and kisses. "Come for me, Cas. I got you." He panted, staving off his own orgasm in favor of making Cas come first.

"D-Dean .. _Dean!_ " Castiel gasped out, body locking up as his hips stuttered, thick ropes of wet need coating Dean's hand and his own stomach as he came, wave after wave of white hot pleasure rocking through him, head thrown back.

The hot, tight clench of Cas' body dragged his own orgasm out of him with surprising speed, leaving Dean breathless and groaning. "Fuck, Cas .. yeah, that's it .. fuck." His hips jerked hard and fast as he emptied into Cas' slick heat, filling him up. His pace slowed, thrusts prolonging the pleasure they both felt, leaving them shaking in it's wake.

When Dean began to pull out, Castiel stopped him. "Don't .. stay, just for awhile." He murmured, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and exertion. Dean just grinned and flopped down onto Cas instead, nuzzling against Cas' warm, damp neck, tongue licking the salty sweet skin. "Mmm, love you Cas."

"I love you too, Dean." Castiel murmured, moving his hand up to card through Dean's damp, spiky hair, fingers rubbing soothingly over his scalp and grinning at the contented hum it earned him.

The silence that settled over them was calm, the only sound was their mingled breathing and the occasional rustle of sheets as they melted into the comfort of their bed. Dean was the first to break the quiet.

"So, you really want a kid, huh?" asked Dean, who shifted up onto his forearms so he could look down at Cas.

Castiel's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't thought Dean would bring up the subject, at all, let alone this soon after their argument that morning. "Yes of course, but not if it's something you're not comfortable with."

"But it's something you want though, right? Like, more than anything?" Dean inquired, brow raising as he hovered still above the other man.

"Yes, Dean." Castiel answered honestly, a small smile crossing his slightly chapped lips. "I want to have a family with you, I want to live here with you and your family, and have one of our own. I want to watch ours and Sam's children play together, I want to have holidays filled with children's laughter and staying up all night to wrap presents for them at Christmas." Castiel raised a hand to gently cup Dean's cheek, thumb moving over the stubbled skin. "But not if you don't."

"Okay." Dean whispered thickly, eyes misting over as he nodded. "Okay, Cas."

Castiel's hand stopped, still against Dean's cheek as his mouth worked, opening and closing, eyes wide. ".. Okay? Dean?"

"We can .. give it a try. Maybe .. maybe like one of those foster parent deals, you know .. just to see how it works out."

"I .. I have a friend, Bela. She's due any day now, but has expressed .. quite adamantly really, that she doesn't want it. She's looking to give the child up .. I could .. give her a call tomorrow. I'd told her I was interested before but I didn't .. I wasn't sure."

"You told her about this? About us?" Dean asked, frowning.

"No, no .. at least not about us. Just that I was interested in looking to adopt and she .. offered. If I wanted her child, instead of giving it to some agency or orphanage. She says I have a trusting face." Castiel said, head tilting to the side.

Dean just chuckled and gave half a shrug. "Well, you do. Why do you think those mother's at the school keep giving you those big doe-eyed looks?" He teased, pleased with the small smile it garnered him. "Yeah Cas, you give your friend a call. We'll give this a try."

"Dean .. are you sure? We can wait .. I'm sure Bela would --"

"Cas, I'm sure." He said quietly, shushing Cas with a finger to his lips. "I'm sure."

Without warning Castiel surged up and kissed Dean hard on the mouth, arms wrapping tightly around him as he pulled away and buried his face into Dean's shoulder. "Thank you, thank you Dean." Castiel whispered brokenly, fingers pressing tight and shaky against his shoulder and the back of his neck.

Dean knew without a doubt he made the right choice.

~~~

It was a few days later and Dean had forgotten all about it, having thrown himself into a case of cheating wives and divorce-filing husbands. Dean was thankful neither he nor Cas were the cheating type. He had thought, for sure, by now he'd be tempted at least once -- he was quite the ladies man in his heyday. But he wasn't. Sure, he's looked once or twice at a pretty young thing walking past him on the street, but that's all it was. Looking, an appreciation for beauty. Not once had he felt that pang of lust or need he'd felt years ago when catching sight of a pretty girl. Cas was it for him, the only one. And he knew without a doubt that Cas felt the same way.

Which is why it came as a shock for him to find a tall, pretty brunette sitting casually in their living room drinking a cup of tea that Cas had undoubtedly made her. Her long hair was pulled back into a tail and her clothes were slightly wrinkled.

"Who the fuck are you?" He asked, dropping his jacket and the files he'd brought home onto the chair opposite the sofa.

"Language, love."

"Kiss my ass, lady. Now answer the damn question."

"Dean?" Castiel's voice sounded from the other room. "What are you doing back so early?"

Dean whirled around as Cas came out of their bedroom, sweat dotting his brow and looking like he'd run a marathon. Or had sex, his traitorous mind whispered. A cold weight dropped and settled in his stomach as he stared at Cas. "The fuck, Cas?"

"What are you--"

"I really shoulda seen it comin', you know? Everything was too perfect. You and me, this life."

"What is .." Castiel's eyes widened as he realized what Dean was talking about. "God, Dean, this isn't --"

"I knew it wouldn't have lasted, it was too good. But like this? Jesus, Cas, that's low."

"Dean, it's not like that!"

Dean scoffed as he snatched up his jacket, glancing over to the woman watching them. "Really? Then what's it like, huh? What, you get bored? Wasn't good enough for you? _I_ wasn't good enough for you?"

"Dean, _shut up_!" Castiel shouted, voice loud and thunderous in a way Dean had never heard him use before. It startled them both, making them flinch.

A loud shrieking cry broke the silence, causing Dean to start and snap his gaze over to their shared bedroom, then back to Castiel who looked over to the young woman. The woman sighed heavily and set down her tea cup as she stood. "I'll check on the baby while you two hash this out .. but please, try to be quieter, hmm?" She said as she disappeared into the bedroom.

Dean stood there and after a few minutes the shrieking died down. He could feel his own cheeks warm in shame. "That was --"

"Bela."

"And the baby --"

"That she brought over for us." Castiel said, sighing and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Oh." Well, didn't he feel like a huge fucking jackass right then. "Cas .. I--"

"Dean. Shut up." Castiel muttered as he fixed Dean with a level stare. "I will never, under any circumstances, ever cheat on you." He said as he reached up to cup Dean's face with both hands, hard enough to make him wince. "You are all I want, Dean. Forever. There is never going to be anyone else, Dean. Just you, always you."

"God, Cas .." Dean said hoarsely, throat working around the basketball size lump. "When I saw her sittin' there and then you came outta the bedroom, I thought .. and the way you both looked I just .." He closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I know, and I'm sorry, Dean. But please trust me when I say that nothing will ever happen, not with anyone that isn't you." Castiel released his face and dropped his hands to Dean's shoulders, pulling him in as he leaned up to press a kiss to his husband's lips. Dean sighed against them as he dropped his jacket to the floor and wound his arms around Cas' waist.

"So," He mumbled as he pulled back. "What _was_ going on?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise. Bela came over with the baby and a small bassinet for her. She had purchased a crib and she was helping put it together, but I shooed her out given she'd just had the baby. I'd just finished when you came home. I wasn't expecting you to get back so soon." Castiel replied, looking sheepish that he'd been caught.

"Yeah, Bobby called and said that he was closin' up early so I had the night off." Dean said as he looked past Cas to the bedroom. "So .. it's a girl?"

Castiel smiled as he nodded. "It is. She's beautiful, Dean. I don't think there could be a more perfect match for us than her."

"And Bela's not gonna cop out down the road and come back demanding we give her up, right? I mean, you know, if we decide to keep her." He said, though he had a feeling that even if he wasn't one-hundred percent certain about this, it was a losing battle if Cas had anything to say about it.

"No, Dean. She doesn't want children. Ever, I don' think. She's really not .. very maternal." Castiel said, leaning in to whisper the last.

Dean snorted softly. "Yeah, I gathered."

Just then, Bela came out of the bedroom and snatched up her purse from the sofa as she walked up to them. "Well, now that you two have sorted out your little lover's tiff, I'll be going." She gave Castiel a brief hug and Dean a smug little look that had him wishin' she were a dude just so he could smack it off her face. "If you need anything, medical records or the like, just give me a call."

"Yes, thank you Bela, really." Castiel said as he pulled away from Dean to let her out. He heaved a sigh as he closed the door and locked it behind him. "Would you like to see her? The baby?"

Dean fumbled with the answer for a few moments before nodding and following Cas into the bedroom. The lights were out, but there was a tiny night light hanging from a mobile that swung slowly over the crib which stood a few feet from the bed on Cas' side. Dean was careful as he crept up to it and peered over the edge of the crib.

The baby fussed and squirmed on the soft padding and Dean turned to watch the small, bright smile that lit up Cas' face. His heart clenched at the sight and he knew he was stuck. There'd be no way he could give the kid up now after seeing that look.

"Dean," Castiel whispered, pulling him out of his thoughts. The man grinned and pointed down. Dean swiveled his gaze from Cas to the baby and stilled. The tiny infant stared up at them with blinking wide eyes; one green and one blue.

Dean felt his breath catch and his heart lurch in his chest. "Yeah, Cas .. you were right." Dean whispered, voice watery and trembling. "She's definitely ours." He waited a beat and then asked, "You thought of a name? Assuming she don't have one yet."

"Mary." Castiel replied softly, without hesitation, as he reached out and took Dean's hand in his own and twined their fingers together. "I thought Mary would be a good choice."

His lips quivered, free hand reaching up to cover his mouth as he nodded, taking a moment to collect himself. "Yeah, that's .. that's perfect, Cas." He murmured, then turned and tugged Cas to him. "It's perfect, fuck, Cas you're perfect. Everything is perfect." He whispered as he buried his face in Cas' shoulder.

"Dean?" asked Castiel worriedly. But Dean just shook his head and pulled away after a moment. "I'm fine, Cas. Just .. you know, a little .."

Castiel smiled and nodded, understanding, as he leaned up to pepper kisses across Dean's face, over the hundreds of freckles that dotted along the bridge of his nose and the apple of his cheeks. Just as he reached those soft lips, a fussing cry broke the silence.

Both men sighed as they turned toward the crib. "Yeah, that won't get old at all." Dean muttered good naturedly. Castiel chuckled as he headed for the door. "Watch her while I make her bottle. It shouldn't take more than a few minutes." And then he was gone.

"Perfect." Dean muttered as he walked over to the bed to switch on the lamp on the side table to give the room more lighting. Moving back over to the crib he winced as the baby began to cry, shrill and loud. He looked around for something; a toy, a pacifier, something but came up empty handed. And he didn't want Cas to think he couldn't do this, that he didn't want the kid or anything -- Mary, his brain already supplied, she had a name now.

"God, please don't let me hurt her." He mumbled to himself as he reached into the crib and picked her up. He laid her gently against his shoulder, arm holding her protectively to him as his hand rubbed over her tiny back. "C'mon, stop cryin' would you?" He said as gently and soothingly as he could.

When that didn't work, he began to pace the room slowly, moving in a U pattern around their bed and back, gently bouncing her in his arms the way he remembered seeing his mother do with Sammy when he was a baby. He hummed softly to himself as he walked, praying this would work.

"Hey, Jude .. don't let her down," Dean began to sing soft and slow, hand rubbing slowly and gently across the baby's -- little Mary's -- back. "You have found her, now go and get her." He paused when the cries quieted, though Mary squirmed in his hold, like she was trying to get comfortable. He continued a moment later. "Remember, to let her into your heart .. then you can start to make it better."

He turned to make another round of pacing but stopped short when he caught sight of Cas standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with the brightest, happiest smile he'd ever seen on Cas' face and knowing that he caused it made his chest ache pleasantly and his heart flutter.

Castiel had stood there for a few minutes, just watching Dean move around the room, and sing. He recognized the song, having remembered Dean telling him that his mother used to sing it to him, before she had passed. And sometimes Cas would hum it on the nights when the world became too much for Dean to handle by himself. But to see him now, singing it to Mary .. he had never quite felt such joy.

Walking over to where Dean stood, he reached out his arms, bottle in one hand. "Here, I'll take her." But Dean surprised him when he shook his head and snatched the bottle from his hand as he moved over to take a seat on the edge of their bed.

"I got it." He said confidently, moving to sit back some so he could get comfortable. He then gently nestled her in the crook of his arms and nudged the bottle tip to her mouth, a wide grin crossing his face as she latched onto it.

Castiel moved over to the bed as well, crawling up to sit behind Dean, hand moving in slow, wide circles along the man's back. "I think she likes you." He said quietly, as he watched little Mary stare up at Dean. "It took nearly thirty minutes for either Bela or I to get her to calm down at first. You're a natural at this."

Dean looked over his shoulder at Cas, brow raised. "You think so?" He asked curiously, hopefully, almost.

"I know so." The shorter man replied firmly. "It's hard not to fall in love with her, isn't it?" Castiel asked, after a moment, watching the way Dean was so gentle with her, the way neither could look away. Yeah, Mary was definitely a Dean girl. Not that he could blame her.

"Yeah, it is." Dean murmured fondly. "Definitely a keeper."

A wide look of surprise crossed Castiel's face as he looked over at Dean, who was watching him with a smug little grin. "You want to? I know you had said we should just .. try it out first but .."

"Nah, I'm sure Cas. Hooked already." He said as he shifted Mary in his arms more comfortably -- for both him and her. "Think I fell in love the moment she looked at me. Them eyes, you know?" He said, unable to stop himself from giving Cas a once over that made the man flush.

"I figured as much." Castiel stated, amused. He knew it wouldn't always be this easy, that Dean would still have problems with his issues regarding the case and children, but this was a successful step forward.

"Man, Sam is gonna have a shit fit when he finds out I got a kid." Even more so, he thought, when Dean tells him her name.

"Dean, language!" Castiel laughed, shaking his head as he leaned lightly against Dean's back, chin on his shoulder as he watched Mary's mismatched eyes slowly droop shut.

"What? It's not like she can understand it yet. Ain't no harm in it now." Though he knew he'd likely have to clean up his language when she got older.

"That's not the point." He said with a sigh. "We'll have to get a car seat, you know."

"You ain't puttin' that thing in the Impala."

"Dean, it's a car seat. It goes inside of a car."

"You've got a car! I don't want that thing scuffing up the interior."

"So you're saying your car is more important than our daughter's safety?"

Dean paused, mouth hanging open. It had surprised him to hear Cas refer to Mary as their daughter already. Though that's what she was now, wasn't she? Their kid. Their baby girl. "No, Mary's -- our daughter is definitely more important." Dean replied quietly. "Ain't giving up the Impala."

"I'm not asking you to." Castiel said, placating though he smiled knowing he'd won this little fight.

"And it's gotta match the interior. None of that princess pink shit. You put that crap in your own car."

"Fair enough."

Dean was quiet for a moment as he nestled Mary in the crook of his arm and pulled the bottle away from the sleeping baby's small, stubby fingers to set it on the night stand.

"C'mon, let's get ready for bed. I'm beat."

"Dean, it's only eight-thirty." Castiel said, but stood up when Dean did so he could pull down the covers.

"Exactly. We have a kid now, Cas. Sleep is all but non-existent." He grinned when the shorter man just sighed and changed into a clean pair of boxers, his green eyes wandering over Cas' backside appreciatively as he waited for his lover to climb back into bed. Dean pressed one knee onto the mattress as he leaned over and gingerly laid Mary down onto the bed next to Cas.

"Just for a minute while I get changed." He said, milling around the room as he tore off his clothes and pulled on a pair of sweats before returning to the bed. "There we go, nice and cozy." Dean rumbled as he slid beneath the covers, pulling them half way up.

"Mary does have a crib, you know."

"I know that." Dean said, scowling, "Saw it when I walked in, remember?" The man rolled his eyes and sighed. "I remember hearin' how it's good for the kid to sleep with it's parents, like bonding or something. Mothers do it all the time ... what?"

"No, nothing, I just didn't think you knew that .."

"I do listen to the shit you talk about after work, you know." Dean smirked at the surprised look on Cas' face. Oh yeah, that was worth it right there. "Now let's get some sleep while we can."

Castiel laid there quietly, watching Dean watch Mary, the way he let her sleepy fingers grip one of his own and the fond smile that crossed his face. Dean looked up and stilled when he realized he'd been caught, but Cas just grinned, wide and bright. Yeah, he was sunk.

"Goodnight, Dean." Castiel murmured as he leaned in for a kiss which Dean met halfway, slow and sweet and perfect.

"Night, Cas." He whispered as he pulled away to lay back down, reaching back behind him to turn off the light, plunging them into darkness, the room now silent save for their soft even breaths.

Just as Castiel drifted off to sleep, he heard Dean's voice hushed and soft over the calm quiet that settled over them, soft and sweet.

"Goodnight, Mary."


End file.
